Counting the Hours of Frustration

It all started Thursday night when I was talking to a friend and some news and life changing decisions were brought up. I thought nothing of it at the time; little did I know it would keep me up all night. After work I went to Starbucks to get some java, but I was distracted by Jesse who asked about Katy and Megan. After getting my coffee and driving home I watched an episode or two of the Flintstones and decided it was time for bed. My parents didn’t go to sleep until after midnight which messed up my system. 1:00am I can’t get to sleep, I’ve tossed and turned. 2:00am still can’t sleep, first bathroom break. All this practicing to drink a lot of water for world youth day is adding several bathroom stops to my day. 3:00am still can’t sleep. I read some of my book until four and decided then it was finally time to get some sleep. Lying in my bed I heard a car door slam and the sounds of a person walking around outside. This terrified me because I remember dreaming a girl in Salt Lake City was kidnapped and I woke up the next morning to find out that a girl had been kidnapped from her room in Salt Lake City.5:00am the bird’s start to chirp and the horizon turns bluish purple. I couldn’t sleep at all. I got up, made another stop at the bathroom and walked around the house. I saw a shadow cross the front porch and freaked out. I returned to my room ate an Oreo put away laundry and watched to sun come up. 6:00am I lay on my bed in front of my window yearning for that sweet cool morning breeze. I watched my fish spastically swim around his tank. He’s getting fat. Somewhere around 6:30 I finally found sleep. My mind had been running all-night thinking about everything that happened earlier in the night. I wasn’t able to talk to my best friend, Maura. She always has something to say that puts my mind off things that are bothering me. Thoughts steamed thru my mind the little hamster was running faster than ever and I wouldn’t allow my mind any rest. After finally finding sleep I was out. I didn’t hear my dad come in and close my window but I was awakened at 9:45am by my friend calling to tell me he needed a ride home from summer school. At 11:30am I got up to find my mom had taken my car to visit one of our neighbors who’s in the hospital. I took the truck to pick up my friend. On the way home we stopped at the Coors Credit Union so he could deposit some money. It was at this time I reminded him he owed me some money. I don’t expect to get it back. When I told him he sat there and said that he had bought me Starbucks once and so therefore he shouldn’t owe me as much. Even though the guy asked me out three times he’s only paid for my coffee once, never for gas or movie rentals. Every time we’d go somewhere with Cameron and/or Andrea and they were “broke” (we all know they had money) he would pay for them. When he and I would go I would have no money and he wouldn’t offer to pay for me. He would order his drink and we’d go. Honestly you wonder why I didn’t go out with him. He always bought so much shit for his girlfriend because “we’re made for each other, we just click”. Bullshit!!!! And then to make things better he starts off with the whole “Val, you need to get a boyfriend. Someone you can talk to and trust and hang out with all the time”. Hello that’s what he and I do although we can’t hang out anymore because he has summer school in the mornings and therefore can’t stay out late, unless it involves going to the Walmart on Wadsworth to meet his friend Brandon so they can make some money real quick and then smoke a bowel. I honestly believe he’s trying to make it look like moving won’t affect him, but it is. He takes all his anger out on his friends and tries to put other people down to make himself feel better. If he had a gun, his own car he would and even now possibly is one of those people who are America’s worst nightmare. Ok I don’t have a boyfriend because like Megan said “we have standards”. I’m sorry if the person who means the most to me and always smiles and talks to me is ten years older than me. I’m not the average stupid brain damaged teenager. It’s not my fault I hang out with older people; they are the ones who actually seem to have reasons for what they do. I would continue writing but I’m really frustrated and would end up writing a novel of a blog. I’m just pissed off. Hopefully time will change things. For now I don’t want to deal with worthless air heads that can’t control their own emotions and problems.

Dreams.. A Window to the Mind

If you know me well enough you know that I have some crazy dreams. This one is no different. Working at noodles or anywhere you know the people you work with. I had a dream that Shawn and Lesley got married. It wasn’t normal but she was in a nice white dress with her hair down and her veil kept flying up from the back as if there was a fan behind her. I’m pretty sure Shawn was in a pair of kaki’s and a nice t-shirt. Noel was in his black short and had a Fred Flintstone type tuxedo shirt on, but you couldn’t tell because he was wearing his chef’s coat. Noel was trying to get me to go to the wedding but I didn’t want to. He kept pulling on my chef’s coat and finally I did a three-sixty and he ended up with the coat and I was I guess walking away (I don’t remember). I do know I was in a dress.
It was really weird because Noel and I had texted a couple nights before and it came off as we wanted to avoid each other at work because the next night we barely talked, but it was really because his tooth hurt. It was an awkward situation and it gave uncertainty as what to do. It’s all good now; we talked for an hour and a half tonight after work. He told me a lot about his personality and when he talks, what’s stupid, why he doesn’t talk. In my dream though we had been really close friends and I didn’t want to go to the wedding. I think it was that in my mind and consciences I wasn’t sure if he didn’t like me or didn’t want to talk to me and I didn’t want to push it. Do you see what I’m trying to say?
So after that dream I had one that my almost worst enemy from eighth grade needed a ride to her car or home and she wanted me to give her one. We were in the parking lot of Tokyo Joe’s but the Holiday in was where Barnes and Noble is. After that I was at Sarah’s house by Maura’s property by the side street lighting of bottle rockets and a police car came by and my mom wondered if I had hid well enough. Following that I was flying my Snoopy airplane around Denver West and I was having a lot of trouble flying it. Along with having trouble flying it Joe and Pat were telling me what to do, what they could do better, and how I wasn’t flying it right.
I had some really weird dreams and I hope dreaming helps clear you conscience and allows a person to express what they are feeling without spitting it right out so even the stupidest and shallow minded people can understand. Sweet dreams…

One Wild Night

Wednesday night was no regular night for me. Normally I stay out until two or three in the morning but not Wednesday. I got home at about eight after spending some time talking to my mom at Starbucks. Previously Alex and I had talked of going bowling but that never happened. I fell asleep in my love sac and woke up around ten. I went down stairs to shower only to find a dead spider in my shower. After showering I returned to my room, got ready for bed and was on my way to the kitchen to have a midnight snack of Oreo’s and milk only to find I was locked in my room. We had just gotten new doors and the handle on my door was not put together correctly. No matter which I turned the knob, the piece that sticks out from the door and into the frame wouldn’t move. My dad said he would leave it until the morning but my mom freaked out and said it was a fire hazard. I’m not as small as I used to be when I would sneak out of my window and my ladder isn’t in my room so I would have had to jump into a pyracantha bush. Ouch! My dad tossed a screw driver thru my window. With that I took the door handle off and tried to figure what was wrong with it. We left it be so Rick, the door guy could fix it. After satisfying my craving of Oreo’s and milk I sat down to watch cartoons. I watched a couple Flintstones episodes and glanced at the clock. It was now one thirty am and I should have gone to bed. I just wasn’t as tired as I was before so I stayed up until three and watched a movie I borrowed from a friend.

hello

i have recently been bothered for not having blogged in a while. i can't thinkof anything to go on about right now but maybe later. In sjort, i have a dead pig in my basement, my sister is moving out, we have new doors in the house, i like a guy who works at starbucks, also one who works or worked at Peaberry. uuuuhhh... One of my best friends is in Europe for two weeks and the other is moving to Alabama. Andy is actually going out with Andrea and Pat has started his "you need to get a boyfriend thing again". My fish is still alive... and megan doesn't own a beater! Shocking I know. don't panic though that's not the worst of it..,. she doesn't even own a wisk. oy veh!!!!!!! Alex broke or cracked a cymbol poor guy and OMG!!!!!!!!!!! get this IHOP closed and yurned inot Mama's CAfe and will soon be turning into a Village INnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO!!!!!!!!!!! at least they'll have pie. Eeeewww there's too much conditioner in my hair. oh and I had my birthday and it was pathetic but i got lots of cool stuff so thanks. roland wiped microsoft office so this is really bad.