Counting the Hours of Frustration

It all started Thursday night when I was talking to a friend and some news and life changing decisions were brought up. I thought nothing of it at the time; little did I know it would keep me up all night. After work I went to Starbucks to get some java, but I was distracted by Jesse who asked about Katy and Megan. After getting my coffee and driving home I watched an episode or two of the Flintstones and decided it was time for bed. My parents didn’t go to sleep until after midnight which messed up my system. 1:00am I can’t get to sleep, I’ve tossed and turned. 2:00am still can’t sleep, first bathroom break. All this practicing to drink a lot of water for world youth day is adding several bathroom stops to my day. 3:00am still can’t sleep. I read some of my book until four and decided then it was finally time to get some sleep. Lying in my bed I heard a car door slam and the sounds of a person walking around outside. This terrified me because I remember dreaming a girl in Salt Lake City was kidnapped and I woke up the next morning to find out that a girl had been kidnapped from her room in Salt Lake City.5:00am the bird’s start to chirp and the horizon turns bluish purple. I couldn’t sleep at all. I got up, made another stop at the bathroom and walked around the house. I saw a shadow cross the front porch and freaked out. I returned to my room ate an Oreo put away laundry and watched to sun come up. 6:00am I lay on my bed in front of my window yearning for that sweet cool morning breeze. I watched my fish spastically swim around his tank. He’s getting fat. Somewhere around 6:30 I finally found sleep. My mind had been running all-night thinking about everything that happened earlier in the night. I wasn’t able to talk to my best friend, Maura. She always has something to say that puts my mind off things that are bothering me. Thoughts steamed thru my mind the little hamster was running faster than ever and I wouldn’t allow my mind any rest. After finally finding sleep I was out. I didn’t hear my dad come in and close my window but I was awakened at 9:45am by my friend calling to tell me he needed a ride home from summer school. At 11:30am I got up to find my mom had taken my car to visit one of our neighbors who’s in the hospital. I took the truck to pick up my friend. On the way home we stopped at the Coors Credit Union so he could deposit some money. It was at this time I reminded him he owed me some money. I don’t expect to get it back. When I told him he sat there and said that he had bought me Starbucks once and so therefore he shouldn’t owe me as much. Even though the guy asked me out three times he’s only paid for my coffee once, never for gas or movie rentals. Every time we’d go somewhere with Cameron and/or Andrea and they were “broke” (we all know they had money) he would pay for them. When he and I would go I would have no money and he wouldn’t offer to pay for me. He would order his drink and we’d go. Honestly you wonder why I didn’t go out with him. He always bought so much shit for his girlfriend because “we’re made for each other, we just click”. Bullshit!!!! And then to make things better he starts off with the whole “Val, you need to get a boyfriend. Someone you can talk to and trust and hang out with all the time”. Hello that’s what he and I do although we can’t hang out anymore because he has summer school in the mornings and therefore can’t stay out late, unless it involves going to the Walmart on Wadsworth to meet his friend Brandon so they can make some money real quick and then smoke a bowel. I honestly believe he’s trying to make it look like moving won’t affect him, but it is. He takes all his anger out on his friends and tries to put other people down to make himself feel better. If he had a gun, his own car he would and even now possibly is one of those people who are America’s worst nightmare. Ok I don’t have a boyfriend because like Megan said “we have standards”. I’m sorry if the person who means the most to me and always smiles and talks to me is ten years older than me. I’m not the average stupid brain damaged teenager. It’s not my fault I hang out with older people; they are the ones who actually seem to have reasons for what they do. I would continue writing but I’m really frustrated and would end up writing a novel of a blog. I’m just pissed off. Hopefully time will change things. For now I don’t want to deal with worthless air heads that can’t control their own emotions and problems.