SOmething to be Proud Of

Our girl’s basketball team made it to the state quarter finals. Last night in Fort Collins they were defeated by Buena Vista. That is something to be proud of. I don’t remember how far they made it last year but the year before that they made it to state and became champions.

When your parents say “we’re proud of you” when you get good grades or do something well does it discourage you? Do you get the feeling that they didn’t believe in you? I recently received my report card, and yes a 4.6 GPA is something to be proud of but when your mom keeps telling you that’s she’s proud and that “you really try hard but maybe should cut back on work”. If I can make a 4.6 work, get all my homework done and squeeze in some sleep I don’t know why she wants me to cut back. When I’m not working I’m either bored to tears or sleeping. I’m just not happy anymore, except when I’m at work and with the people there. My friends tell me that maybe I’m so bored because I actually did things with Katy and I didn’t realize how much time that took and how much fun it was. I mean it’d different riding to and from school with your sister, and to and from school with some happy psycho God loving morning person. There’s nothing wrong with loving God and being happy in the morning I’m just saying I don’t want to be with someone like that at 7 am. And to make it better my mom tells her everything about me. For example one morning I had the hiccups and she told my carpool that when she was pregnant with me I hiccupped. Ok NO you don’t tell people stuff like that unless I think it’s ok!! I never seem happy but it doesn’t mean I’m in a bad mood. I doodle so much in class I have created a notebook for doodling and random thoughts. One of my friends said I was going through some sort of social withdraw and someone else said it’s depression. I haven’t told my parents because if I do then we all know what will happen. We’ll be even more broke than before. When I’m at work or with Friends at IHOP I’m happy.

Since our classes changed our lunch schedule changed and I don’t have lunch with everyone like I used to. It’s bothering me because nobody talks to me in the class room anymore and when I see them they don’t always smile back. My social life is hopeless. In elementary and middle school I had my best friend taken from me and in high school I don’t really have a best friend. There was Pat. We were real close he was almost like my brother. And of course there’s Maura who has been my friend forever, but high school changes everyone and now she has a boyfriend. I like Machebeuf but if I don’t fit in socially I really don’t want to be there. The only people I talk to and trust are the people who don’t care about how cool you are and they actually like me for who I am and what I do. Life is like a box of chocolates. “You never know what you’re going to get.”-Forest Gump