I'm Fuckin Pissed(pardon the language)

Ugh I’m so pissed off. I was going to write about my wonderful 4^th of July but something else has come up. After having such a great and fun night with all of my friends I arrived home and found my AP test scores had arrived. I opened the envelope and was shocked. On my AP US History I received a 2 and on my AP English 3 I received a three. I’m not pleased with myself, I’m actually furious. One thing that really bothers me is that my teachers said I was capable of 4’s and 5’s. I don’t see how I was capable. I don’t know who to be angry at. I know I’m mad at my English teacher not because I didn’t get a 4 or 5 like she said but because she forced me to change my writing style and according to a previous AP student I know, my writing before this brainless idiot was better than it is now that she’s taken over the class. I can’t stand her as a teacher she’s always telling me I’m one of the best students. B#@$ S*#@!!! I’m not one of the best students and she sure as hell can’t teach AP English. Ugh I am so pissed I had confidence that I did better because people told me that I would do well so I studied and tried so hard to do well and I didn’t. Wow that really lowers your self esteem. Let’s see if I ever try anything hard again in my life. AP History is another story. We studied new information up until three days before the test and not once all year did we go back and review. Most questions on the history test are from the Revolutionary War to the Civil War and guess what we studied all that before Christmas. GRRR I’m so angry I can’t get over it. My History teacher did the same thing as the English one did and told me I would do great. Well look who didn’t do great. Yeah I know I can retake it next year but I really don’t think it’s worth it. I can’t do anything anymore. I’m a failure. I can’t even pass the ACT” I got a 21. Let’s see if I ever get to college. There go my hopes and dreams. By the way I do realize I’m exaggerating this a little more than it is but when you have confidence in yourself and its shatter and shaken it’s hard to realize it’ll be ok. I’m just upset with my scores and of course I can’t blame my teachers for it but the preparation they gave me, or lack there of, really didn’t help. I can’t emphasize how angry I am right now; at myself and everything. I’m just down. I can’t even ask a guy for his number how will I ever do anything. Life sucks and I don’t think I’ll be getting college credit for all the sincere hard work I did in high school that pleased my teachers but wasn’t what AP readers were looking for. UGH!!! I’m done I can’t do it anymore. I’ll just take this year as it comes and do my best; which seems to be hard because it’s not what other people want. Well of course they want me to do my best but not the way I want to. I’m just mad right now. It’ll pass soon, hopefully.